Gloria had been working overtime plus a part-time job for the last 6 months saving up for this trip. She was flying back home for a month to be with family and to help her best friend who was about to have a baby. She packed super-light by fitting all her possessions into one carry-on bag and her large purse. She got the cheapest fair by taking an indirect route and two different airlines. Everything was planned to the “T.” Unfortunately, the weather threw a wrench into the two-airline plan. She knew she’d have a layover but the weather delayed flights and she was stuck in the airport for the next 5 hours in the middle of the night. She didn’t want to spend the money on a hotel room for just a few hours nor spend the money on a cab to see the city. What would she see anyway at 3 in the morning. So, she tried to sleep. Airports are a little creepy at night when you’re alone. The unfamiliar noises, the cleaning staff and their infernal vacuum cleaners and conspiratorial hushed tones conspired to drive sleep away. About two hours into her stay in lay-over hell she started to relax enough to fall asleep. She would start to fall asleep but then a leg or arm would slide off the slick, genuine-imitation leather chairs. She thought about just laying on the floor but she felt too exposed. “Crap!” she yelled as her head snapped backwards giving her a whiplash-like pop. The two-second nap was interrupted by that head-snapping movement that is so funny to watch but terrible to experience.

Three hours to go. She hung legs over the arm of one chair and rested her feet on her bag. Then she tucked each arm under the opposite armpit, leaned forward and rested her head on the edge of the seat. Finally, sleep came. Suddenly, the set of 6 seats was jolted by a six-foot two goofy nerd and his laptop bag and overnighter. She jerked to attention ready to fight any would-be attacker. “I’m sorry did I wake you?” said he. “No, I was just sleeping.” she faked a half-polite, half-sarcastic smile and repositioned herself in an attempt recapture dreamland. Inside she was fuming. Out of the 836 chairs in the area, which she counted earlier out of boredom, why did he have to sit here? Oh my god she thought to herself. He’s either dangerous or available. After 30 hours without sleep and all the rigors of travel she wouldn’t have cared if he was Brad Pitt. In her head she just screamed, “Go AWAY!”

She was already in lay-over hell, now the torture started. He started talking to her. She discovered his name, his height, his weight where he was from where he’s going and where he went to school. She tried to be polite and tell him that she was really tired and needed to catch some sleep. He would apologize and shut up for about 3 minutes. Just enough for her to get within two winks of sleepy-land. But he was a nervous talker. He’d either start talking to himself or his computer.

She swung her legs back on the floor and put her bag back on the ground. He took this as an invitation of some sort and moved one seat closer and started talking to her.

“Let’s a play a game”

“A game? What kind of game? I’m tired.” she said nervously.

“I’ll ask you a question and if you don’t know the answer I win. Then you do the same. We’ll make it interesting and bet on the outcome.”

“No way! You just spent the last 45 minutes telling me about how smart you are and your success at MIT.” she said with horror as she realized this guy had been talking to a woman for 45 minutes and didn’t realize she was ignoring him.

“Ah come on. I’ll make it fair. A hundred if I lose and only five if you lose.”

She wasn’t desperate for money, she saved up quite a bit, but a hundred would sure be nice. He caught the glint in her eye and said “Great, it’ll be fun. You go first”

Gloria said, “All right. What goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on two?” “That’s easy,” said Rich. But the words kept getting stuck in his mouth. Like panicked stutterer he just couldn’t get it out. Suddenly he stood up and started pacing. Gloria could tell this was going to take some time so she plopped her legs on her bag and slumped into the chair and promptly fell asleep. About 15 minutes later she woke up, opened one eye lid. She could hear him feverishly typing on his laptop with his back to her. In the window she could see the reflection of his laptop. He was searching Google! She smiled to herself and settled back into slumber. About twenty minutes later his voice woke her up. He was in a corner talking to someone asking them for help. It wasn’t really fair but she was enjoying herself knowing he was spinning in the wind.

She awoke again to the sounds of the airport coming alive and people milling around getting ready for the next flight. Her flight. He sat two seats away just kind of staring a hole in her. She stretched like a cat, smiled and said good morning. He just scowled at her and handed her a crisp one hundred dollar bill. “Now,” he said, “ what goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on two?” She stuck her feet back in her Berkinstocks, reached into her pocket, pulled out a five and handed it to him. “I don’t know” she said as she walked to the gate.

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