Move to a Better Life

It is really, really hard to hit a target you can’t see. Everyone seems to want a “better” life but how do you define “better” and how do you measure progress towards it? Here are three criteria that may help.

1. The resources to meet the needs of yourself and others.

2. A plan for fulfilling a well-defined purpose

3. Wholeness

Meeting Needs

This measurement says a lot about your character and how you view your fellow man. If you will not take care of anyone besides your self it broadcasts selfishness. Selfishness is one of the main ingredients for an unfulfilled life. When you choose to limit your spending to what you earn and always set aside a little for someone else, it shows that you are able to delay gratification. Besides being a mark of maturity, delayed gratification, is a necessary ingredient for building anything of significance.

Notice that I didn’t say meet “wants” and I didn’t say meet the needs of everyone. Most people live on a limited budget of some type. When my son was going to college a relative would send him $20 a month. It wasn’t nearly enough for books, supplies, tuition or board. However, it was enough to buy coffee. Just coffee. That improved my son’s life and demonstrated the character of the giver. If you’re looking for a life-long partner look for someone who delays gratification and meets the needs others, even in a small way.

A Plan and a Purpose

When you have a reason to “want” to get up in the morning it makes a huge difference in the quality of your life. Ten years from now will you be able to look back at this year and say, “I was on my way to where I wanted to be now.”

Having a purpose is like Novocaine for the pains of life. It softens the blows and brightens the colors of life. However, a purpose without a plan is just a fantasy. A plan is an extremely useful tool in the fight against discouragement, anxiety, and apathy. In the movie, “For Love or Money,” Michael J. Fox played a character who conducted his life with zealous discipline. He endured aging employees, a sadistic manager, and eccentric guests because each dollar of each tip put him closer to his purpose. In Charlie Plumb’s book, “I’m No Hero” he discusses the importance of having something to do everyday to prepare himself for the eventual return to civilization. The combination of hope and activity enabled him to endure the horrors of a Vietnamese prison. A plan feeds your hopes.

If you have a fantasy, some wild-eyed bronco of a dream. Take some time to develop a list of steps to get there. If the dream is worthwhile then it is worth taking the time to develop a plan. Use the list as a set of scales to measure every friendship, party, and purchase. If it is not helping you fulfill your purpose then it is retarding your progress. Chuck the offender mercilessly. By the way, helping other people will help you achieve your purpose unless your purpose is to win the Narcissus of the Year award.

Wholeness

Of the three measurements mentioned here this is probably the most abstract. It requires daily action to achieve and maintain. Synonyms for it are peace, integrity, completeness, and order. When your clothes are clean and easy to get to, your books are put away, your finances are in order, and you are in control of your time then you will have wholeness. Maybe today your dwelling is a mess of books, papers, and take-out cartons. But tomorrow it could be just a mess of books and papers. With daily application it could become a place without distractions. I’m not trying to say you should become a neat freak or a compulsive time-cop. I’m just suggesting that you look at each area of your life, such as your physical surroundings, how you maintain your body, and the condition of your psyche and decide what actions you can take to make them more orderly. There are scores of books and articles on de-junking your life. Find one or two and follow their advice.

Do you have heartaches from the past? Maybe somebody abused or betrayed you. You lost a loved one or had a major business failure. I’m not being heartless. I’m just saying, as compassionately as I can, it is time to move on. Don’t let the past hold you back any longer. The following technique has worked well for some people. On as many pieces of paper as are necessary, write all the failures and suffered wrongs. Then burn them (somewhere safe, please). Another technique is to go to an office supply store and buy a pad of invoices. Write an invoice for everyone who has ever done you wrong. Then on each one write “Paid in Full.” Or get yourself a stamp. One of those old fashioned kind with the separate ink pad. Forcefully stamp each invoice PAID!. At that moment release that memory’s hold on your soul. When you wake up the next morning say to yourself, out loud, I am free from the past.

Next Steps

Are there other measures of the “good life” which one can apply? Of course there are. Use these as a starting point. Make a commitment to yourself to act on these three for the next three months. Give your self a grade in each area and make a commitment to yourself to raise that grade. Maybe you have a dream but it’s not written anywhere and you are without a plan to fulfill it. So you have an “F” in that subject. No problem. Take a few minutes, let’s say 15, and start researching and writing the steps to your dream. Maybe your wallet is so tight that your debit card squeaks when you use it. That’s ok. Cut your expenses until you can send $15 dollars to a charity that does something for someone else. If you score an “F” in the wholeness department don’t despair. You can’t conquer the mess in one day but you can make significant progress in just 3 months. Shut off the T.V. Better yet, sell yours and send the money to charity. There’s nothing that good to watch anyway. Everyday throw something out of your life that is not adding value. At the end of every month give yourself a check-up and see if your grades have improved. If you practice the principle of “continuous forward progress” you will have a very different and much happier life.

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